Yep, I said these. Of course, I say a lot. But who doesn't? In an era where privacy advocates want you to tune-in to their live-from-their-bedroom webcams and blog about their bowel movements it's for certain I can utter the occasional gem. Deal with it.
"It is a damn shame that cell phone signal jammers are illegal. Driver distractions from using a cell phone are the number one reason for collisions in California."
This one is a term I've coined based on a BBC car enthusiast's show called "Top Gear". The term is "back-pocket bollocks"... meaning "That's a bloody fast car!!!!"... classic.
"God gave us the truth. Then the devil came and said I’ll organize it and call it religion." - Tantric Author Unknown
"The depth of a person is relative to the amount of tea in their cupboard."
I'm not sure where I heard this but it is a fantastically useful phrase: "blundering arrogance of committee thinking"
"To see is to not look at things that are to be looked at but to look at things that draw the eye. To truely see is to look at that which draws the heart."
"Just because you've never been in a car accident doesn't mean you are a good driver. Potential is the seed of success."
"Every man should be responsible for the consequences of his own actions. I ask you what man would leave such a reward so great unclaimed?"
"Disrespecting another person's values is the opposite of open mindedness."
"It's not how well you follow directions that makes you a good cook. It's how well you deviate from them that does."
"To be politically correct is to simply dilute the identity of truth and desaturate facts. A politically correct effort usually has the opposite effect as it's intent."
"One's appearance and poise is the most revealing inner trait of a person. This is never so apparent than when observing parents and their children."
"I saw a sticker on a truck that said 'No Fear' and I thought, 'This person has a lot to fear or they wouldn't need to assert so obviously.'"
"Children are not entitled to anything they want. A child is only entitled to that which a parent wants for them."
"Sometimes I think I have had wisdom all along. As I grow older I've only learned how to use it to my advantage."
"If you tell me you are multi-tasking it means you aren't paying attention."
"A wize man is everything he once was."
"Crying has caused me to grow old very quickly."
"What if your faith in god was a trick you play on yourself. When you pray you are actually building faith in yourself instead of a god. Good or bad, wouldn't the results then be a measure of your own self-dedication?"
"Pretending you are from another planet helps everthing make sense."
"'Pimp your ride' means to make it look like you sell hookers."
"Death makes everything matter."
"Just because I joke about something doesn't mean I don't take it seriously. Just because I'm serious doesn't mean I won't make a joke about it. Everything is funny eventually."
"I don't get butterflies in my stomach now that I'm older. I get moths."
"'Bling' is the sound a phone makes."
"If food were a religion dieting would be repentance."
On driving: "If your going to hurl 3,000 lbs of steel, glass and plastic down the highway you'd better be damned sure where you're aiming it. Wake Up: Speed doesn't kill: It's what you do with it that does."
"I think that an artificially stimulated brain loses it's ability to self stimulate."
On Katrina victims: "I feel much respect for people with the self-worth to be appreciative when they are in need. The others deserve everything they get."
"Did you notice how people have quietly stopped calling it rap music?"
"I know my A.D.D. is getting bad when I call it 'A.D...'"
"Whatever you do only matters if it is meaningful. You only matter if you are meaningful."
"How can anyone be so-called 'Proud to be American' if it's all they know."
"Because of the Internet I know many people quite well but have actually never met them."
"The product of paying attention is sensibility. Those who don't understand this concept usually die in car accidents they've caused."
"Wisdom is 90% perspective and 10% experience. Reflect, share, learn, do better, repeat."
"I have achieved perfect happiness except that which money can buy."
"Just because someone's telling you the truth doesn't mean that you aren't being decieved."
"The sooner you get something done, the less effort you have to put into remembering to do it."
"When cause and effect cannot be measured, then usually love had something to do with it."
"There is no fine line between someone who is unreasonable and someone with their own point of view."
"It's good to be living my life now knowing that there isn't anyone breathing down my neck making sure I'm keeping promises I never made."
"Silence is the music of the soul."
"A bad attitude is never sexy."
"Hospitality is all about food, drink, and where the bathroom is."
"I open my eyes and imagine what something should be rather than closing them and seeing it for what it is."
"Solar LED garden lighting is sick and wrong. Get help."
"Answer your cell phone in a restaurant and you are likely to get a chair hurled at you for being so stupid. Even you aren't that important."
"Technology is anti-social, numbs the soul, and satisfies only the lonely." Here's my perspective on that.
